Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Diabetes, biopsies, and skinny jeans

A few months ago, I *finally* went to the doctor for some weird symptoms I've been experiencing.  Now anyone who knows me knows that I rarely go to the doctor.  It's not that I have a fear of doctors, I just don't have the patience to jump through all their hoops.

I mean, first you have to schedule the appointment, then you have to drive there, then you have to wait until they call your name...I just don't have the time for all that.  It's generally better for me to 1) ignore the pain/symptoms or 2) wait until things get REALLY bad so the appointment is actually worth the hassle.  (see my Guinness Book World Record Ovarian Cyst blog post.  Trust me, the visuals are worth it.)

So this time around my wonderful friends reminded me of the above incident and quite frankly told me that the crusty, hair-growing, odd-shaped mole on my forearm looked disgusting and was probably cancerous.  That's why I love my friends.  They don't sugar-coat anything.  Except for candy, which is a good segway into...

Diabetes.  Apparently my blood sugar numbers are off the charts.  Huh. This was not something I was expecting, however it did explain a lot of the symptoms I was experiencing.  I also had a biopsy on the mole on my arm, one on my leg, and one on my hip.

After that doctor's appointment, I called to schedule my mid-life crisis.  I'm only a smidge past 40.  Diabetes?  Skin cancer? WTF?

So I did what anyone would do in my situation.  I went to the store and bought skinny jeans. I suppose it was my way of saying "Hey - I'm not old!", cause damn, those jeans take at least 10 years off my butt.

See how I worked the concept of BALANCE in here? I'm clever like that. Skinny jeans totally balance out old people diseases, at least in my book.

Note:  I have received the results to the biopsies and thankfully the moles are all benign.  They're just ugly. I can get them cut off, but well...that would require another doctor's appointment...


  1. YAY for benignity!

    Did you add that note last night? I read this on my phone last night, and didn't see any results. It's too hard to comment from my phone (for me) so I came back today and saw the note.

  2. Thanks, Jim. Yes, the note was there when I posted it, but I have been experiencing weird issues with Blogger lately. Things disappear and reappear. @crystalpratt reports issues with odd characters within the text too. But then that could have been the migraine speaking...or wine ;)

  3. I was just so excited about the thought of skinny jeans (as a hipster reference) that all the characters went all squiggly.

  4. I'm so glad you clarified @crystallpratt. If you had said you were excited about the thought of *me* in skinny jeans, I would have been worried.