Sunday, August 26, 2012

Food Producer/Packaging People are Assholes

Dear Food Producer/Packaging People -

I am writing to tell you that you suck.

Tonight I decided to make my family a special treat in my new, kick-ass Ninja Prep Professional Blender.   While my husband and I fondly remember Orange Creamsicles from our childhood, my children have never tasted them.  I was positive that there MUST be a way to replicate this smooth, tart, orange, creamy goodness in a healthy smoothie drink format, so I devised a recipe with the following ingredients:
  • frozen orange juice concentrate (100% juice)
  • milk
  • vanilla whey protein powder
  • stevia
  • ice cubes
  • liquid vanilla flavoring
This looks yummy, right?

So I put all the ingredients into my kick-ass Ninja blender and the result was absolutely HORRIFIC 

*I* simply grabbed the liquid vanilla flavoring from my spice cabinet and poured a smidge (or two or three...) into the blender.

One of these things is not like the other.

Is it MY fault that two almost identically-shaped clear bottles with brown liquid were side-by-side in the cabinet with their labels facing backward?  Hardly not! 

*You* failed to label BOTH sides of the containers.

And now, because you couldn't spend that extra $.20 to label both sides, my children will basically be traumatized for life and will probably never, ever taste an Orange Creamsicle smoothie.  Way to go, assholes!

Yeah, I did.