Monday, February 25, 2013

Why my children hate me

Because we are fast approaching the one year anniversary of moving into our new home, I decided today would be a good day for me to unpack our last moving box.  I was standing in our dining room holding a new picture frame when The Crazy Clown walked into the room.

The picture frame was in my left hand, while my right hand covered my mouth and nose. Apparently a lot of dust can form within a year and my eyes were all watery and I felt like I was going to sneeze.  I was also contemplating what I could do with the picture frame.  I had remembered buying it for a specific purpose, but I couldn't remember what I had planned to do with it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that The Crazy Clown was looking at me with curiosity.  And that's when I realized that he thought my sniffles and watery eyes meant I was crying!

Because I'm a really awesome parent, I could NOT pass up this opportunity to torture my child.

Me:  "Do you remember Uncle Charlie and Aunt Katie?"  (still with my hand covering my mouth)

The Crazy Clown:  ""

Me:  "They died before you were born."

The Crazy Clown:  "But if they died before I....."

Me:  "It was a tragic car crash."  
(my hand still covering my mouth, I began laughing so hard that my shoulders were shaking, which of course made it look like I was sad and sobbing.)

The Crazy Clown:  "Oh my.....I'm sorry.  I don't remember them."

And that's when my dear child extended his arms and walked towards me with the most loving look on his face.  He embraced me with a tender hug and then looked toward the picture frame.....

The accident was so horrific that the paramedics couldn't even pry them from the vehicle.  We had to bury the whole car.