The Story of My Life

I have this terrible habit of paying the amount of the gas bill to the electric company when I'm paying my bills via online banking.  It's hardly *my* fault though, right?  Both company names begin with the letter "N", so who can blame me?

The good news is that THIS month, I didn't do that.  Nope, I paid the amount of the electric bill to the gas company.

Also.....

And this is the story of my life:

Scenes from a Restaurant

While eating a family dinner at a restaurant this evening, we were frustrated by the incredibly L-O-U-D party near us.  At one point, the volume went down to a dull roar and our family was able to carry on a bit of a conversation, while shouting over the table.

THE LION TAMER:  (gesturing towards my boots)  "Your boots look Elvish.  It makes me want to watch Lord of the Rings."

THE RINGMASTER:  "But Elvis sang about blue suede shoes.  Mom's boots are black suede."

THE FLYING MONKEY:   "Why would Elvis' boots have wings?"

THE CRAZY CLOWN:  "Why are we in a restaurant talking about mom's boobs?"

And that's when the restaurant suddenly became silent.

This makes perfect sense to my family.  And no, these are not my boobs.  I stole them.  Well, that sounds weird.  I don't actually steal boobs.  I just stole the image.  But I probably shouldn't admit that.  I mean, some woman took her time to model these boobs and have these shots taken and it's pretty unfair for *me* to claim them as MY boobs.  I'm sorry boob model lady!  Is there such thing as a boob copyright violation? Huh.  I'll have to look that up.