The Flying Monkey

See the cute little guy in the picture to the right?  That's my Flying Monkey, Jagger.   Jagger is an Aspie, or more formally, was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.  Jagger will be 10 years old on Sunday (yeah, I lied in the graphic, but I didn't want to turn around and recreate it in a few days).

Diabetes, biopsies, and skinny jeans

A few months ago, I *finally* went to the doctor for some weird symptoms I've been experiencing.  Now anyone who knows me knows that I rarely go to the doctor.  It's not that I have a fear of doctors, I just don't have the patience to jump through all their hoops.

I mean, first you have to schedule the appointment, then you have to drive there, then you have to wait until they call your name...I just don't have the time for all that.  It's generally better for me to 1) ignore the pain/symptoms or 2) wait until things get REALLY bad so the appointment is actually worth the hassle.  (see my Guinness Book World Record Ovarian Cyst blog post.  Trust me, the visuals are worth it.)

So this time around my wonderful friends reminded me of the above incident and quite frankly told me that the crusty, hair-growing, odd-shaped mole on my forearm looked disgusting and was probably cancerous.  That's why I love my friends.  They don't sugar-coat anything.  Except for candy, which is a good segway into...

Diabetes.  Apparently my blood sugar numbers are off the charts.  Huh. This was not something I was expecting, however it did explain a lot of the symptoms I was experiencing.  I also had a biopsy on the mole on my arm, one on my leg, and one on my hip.

After that doctor's appointment, I called to schedule my mid-life crisis.  I'm only a smidge past 40.  Diabetes?  Skin cancer? WTF?

So I did what anyone would do in my situation.  I went to the store and bought skinny jeans. I suppose it was my way of saying "Hey - I'm not old!", cause damn, those jeans take at least 10 years off my butt.

See how I worked the concept of BALANCE in here? I'm clever like that. Skinny jeans totally balance out old people diseases, at least in my book.

Note:  I have received the results to the biopsies and thankfully the moles are all benign.  They're just ugly. I can get them cut off, but well...that would require another doctor's appointment...

The aliens took over my blog

So I wanted to create a blog.  Like a REAL blog where I can talk about bloggy kind of stuff.  You see, I've created other blogs before:

• Jaggerisms -  off-the-wall quotes from my (almost) 10 year old Aspie.
• Houseboats and Stroopwaffles - our family adventures in Amsterdam
• Tri or Die Training - a short, but funny, journal about my unsuccessful attempt to train for a triathlon after undergoing major surgery
• Jennifer - Before and After - really just a bunch of pictures of me and my *evil twin*.

The problem is that while each of these blogs serve a purpose, I didn't really have a place to talk about normal, everyday shit.  And I know you all want to know everything there is to know about normal, everyday shit.  So I developed the idea for this blog.

First of all, let me say that I never make anything easy.  When I get an idea for a blog, I'm forced to research, look for a blogging platform (and always come back to Blogger...) create an idea list, create alternative ideas, search for graphics, create a list of 93 possible blog names, design 76 graphics, create the blog, tweak the settings, create more images, and then totally scrap the whole idea and decide it's too much work.  So yeah, me in a nutshell.

This time, I decided I was going to create this blog no matter what.  Cause it's good to follow through on ideas sometimes, right?  Right.

So I set out with the concept of BALANCE.  I seriously lack balance in my life.  I'm an all-or-nothing kind of girl.  One week I'll spend 65 hours working, like non-stop.  The next week, I'll organize every single closet and drawer in the house.  The following week, I'll realize that I DO have a husband and children and they just might like to see my face or hear my voice once in awhile, so I'll get all dedicated and crap and become the world's best soccer-mom.  That is, until I decide we need a family budget.  Then it's time to research every budgeting piece of software ever made, only to decide I like spending money too much to follow a budget. Then I'll move to my fitness obsession - research, schedules, hours at the gym...Then I'll decide I need a blog....What is this thing called BALANCE???

I could lie to you and say that this blog will chronicle my struggle with BALANCE in my life and my quest to achieve BALANCE with my work, hobbies, and family.  But honestly, that will probably only last a week... or two.  So for now I'll say that this blog will be "anything goes" - maybe a recipe or two (if I decide to learn how to cook), maybe some funny kid stuff, maybe some info about my newest project....who knows?  Let's just go with the flow, shall we?

As for the blog design, all I can say is WTF?  I think the aliens took over.  I had this great design in mind with earthy tones.  I'm all about earth tones.  I'll show you a pic of my wardrobe someday, I promise.  All earth tones.

My original blog design idea included wonderful colors like pea soup green, pumpkin, mustard, and a bit of eggplant (We're counting this as a recipe that I mentioned above.  Don't say a word.)  I'm not sure what happened though. I started designing and the colors kept changing and now I'm left with a blog design that you could dress a newborn baby in.  Seriously?  Pastel blues and a circus?  Pink?  So totally not me. 

The aliens also made me create that too-cute graphic on the right  >>>>>>>> called THE PLAYERS.  These people are the players in the circus.  What?  I don't care that circuses don't have players.  They do in my book..err...my circus.  You see, the players are my family members.  Lets go down the list, shall we?

• THE JUGGLER - that's me.  And I'm not wearing pink in that picture.  Seriously.  It's a figment of your imagination.  I despise pink.  But I'm the juggler of the family, with all the balls in the air at once.
• THE LION TAMER - that's my husband. He tames the lions.  With whips.  Ok, not really.  Just sometimes.
• THE RINGMASTER - that's my oldest son.  Firstborn.  Leader.  Director.  The guy who tells everyone what they should be doing.  'Nuff said.
• THE CRAZY CLOWN - that's my middle son.  The funny one.  The social butterfly.  The genius with a horrendous report card cause he was too busy making everyone laugh to pay attention in class...
• THE FLYING MONKEY - that's my youngest son.  Also known as "JaggerMonkey". He flies, he spins, he makes monkey noises. 
• THE LION CUB - our newest addition to the family, he has only been alive for a few short months.  He's a kitten who is damn sure he's a dog who can climb walls. But he's a feline and he kind of looks like a lion, so why not?
• THE BEARDED LADY - our fawn pug is the sweetest, gentlest, most sincere and devoted little dog you would ever want to meet.  And she has a beard.
• THE HUMAN PIG - our black pug is just as sweet and devoted as her sister, but she burps, farts, snarfs, and snorts in your face.  She's basically a human with pig-like behavior.
• THE OTHER CAT - (Not pictured.  On purpose).  The other cat and I have a hate-hate relationship.  She's very affectionate with my husband, THE LION TAMER.  I'm "the other woman".  She's nice to me if I'm opening a can of tuna or if her food bowl is empty.  Otherwise, she's a little witch who gloats when she's in THE LION TAMER'S arms.  Seriously.  I'm not making this up.

So while I pretty much despise the design of this blog and I'm pissed at the aliens, the whole point of a blog is the BLOG.  The words are what matter, right?  Right.  So the newborn-baby-pastel-colored-blog will stay, at least until I come up with a new design concept.  And then I will be sure to share every list, idea, graphic, and all my research with you.  Now aren't you glad you're reading my blog?